6 Parenting Traits to Strive For

Welcome to Motivated Mondays!

I love to share what motivates me. I have to say the last few days have been hard. Hard as a parent…of a toddler. I love my  little girl to pieces but she is definitely trying to push boundaries. And she has become so emotional. I didn’t know it started at such a young age! I’m no expert when it comes to parenting. I’m still learning and this is my first child. But I have definitely learned some lessons along the way. Here are 6 parenting traits I strive for everyday! And trust me there are day I fail.parenting

6 Parenting Traits to Strive For

  1.  Intentional- I have found that I need to be intentional when dealing with my child. What is my purpose in what I am trying to teach her at the moment, short term goals and long term goals. They all build on each other and effect the outcome. I work on being intentional when I’m playing with her to when I am giving her instructions. It’s one thing I have learned, we need to have a purpose behind what we are doing and not just do things absentmindedly.
  2. Present- How easy it is to get distracted in today’s word and be somewhere physically and checked out mentally! The internet is helpful and social media can be to, but why do we need to be plugged in ALL the time. Turn  it off and be present in your child’s life communicate with the person right in front of you! This could be applied to many relationships that we have. I have been guilty of this too. We have chosen for our family not to have smart phones. I don’t need to take email, Facebook, Twitter, G+, this blog with me where ever I go…it will still be here on my laptop when I get home and guess what I haven’t missed anything. But what would I have missed if I was so busy on my phone??? I read that blog post about stop judging the other mom on the phone. Your right I don’t know every ones situation. But is it not time to be present in the lives of our children? Can not other things wait? There have been numerous times I have been at the Park with my daughter and kids just want to interact and/or need help and their parent is to busy on the phone. Why can we not as parents take the time for our kids? Give them individual attention with no interruptions. Enjoy the park or whatever the activity is with them, communicate and share the experience!!! See the world through their eyes.
  3. Consistency- Oh this is one that is hard for me! But I have learned  to keep the boundaries the same. They need to know where they are. Yes, they are going to test them but that doesn’t mean when I’m tired, worn out, emotionally exhausted to stop being consistent and following through. She is much happier and less cranky if I do my job and be a parent. One boundary that we have is that if it is not a toy then we don’t play with it. Example just because my daughter want to play with my phone or keys, doesn’t mean I let her when we are at the store to keep her entertained. They’re not toys. (You may not have the same rule). This is a boundary we have set and she knows it. As a parent now I have to follow through. My daughter doesn’t know why it might be OK while we are out and then not OK when we get home. Then the tantrums set in. It’s my job to set her up for success not failure.
  4. Creative-I’m not taking about arts and craft here even though they are great to do with your children. But being creative with having your children doing activities with you. Yes, you should give them opportunities for independent play and I am not for entertaining my child 24/7. But sometimes you need to be creative to be able to get things done. Have a baby and need to cook dinner but they want to be held try putting them in their high chair with some toys and talk to them as you make dinner. Need to empty the dishwasher? If they are old enough have them put the Tupperware away or the silverware. Yes it might mean fixing it up later but they helped and they feel great helping you. My daughter is always asking to “help mommy” do x y and z. And I want her to learn to help!
  5. Plan- Plan Plan Plan. I have to be organized and have a routine. And most kids do too! They like to know what to expect to know what is coming. Yes, you have to teach flexibility at the same time. We don’t have a schedule to the minute routine round here. But we do have a routine and it s followed pretty much in the same order, give or take 1/2 -1 hour.  But having a plan keeps my sanity 😉
  6. Love- Last but not least and the most important. Love them. Love on them. Encourage them in love, discipline in love, do all things in love. Oh this can be hard at times to respond in love.  Let me be real with you all. I’m not perfect and my daughter know it. But I do strive to show her love even in the tough moments. Yes she know when she has made me upset and I am OK with her knowing that! She has to learn that her actions effect others. At the same time when I correct her behavior I need to show her that she is forgiven and loved.

What lessons have you learned on your parenting journey?

 

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11 comments on “6 Parenting Traits to Strive For

  1. Great tips. I think being present and intentional are very important. This week I was feeling a little “less than” as I met with a friend who has five children and four jobs. As she chatted with me about her busy life, I thought, “Wow. Maybe I am just not doing enough.” I realized after, though, that I am not her, and I want to be able to have the time to spend with my little ones while they are little. Even if that means a career or other things fall to the wayside. I know she is doing what is right for her, but that doesn’t mean it is right for me!

  2. What a great post! Every parent strives to do their best and I think the traits you have chosen sum it up nicely. The biggest lesson I have learnt (but isn’t necessarily a trait) is to be kind to myself. There will be bad days and that is okay. Thanks for linking up at Mum-bo Monday

  3. Hi, Samantha ~ I enjoyed your post! I find I struggle most with being present. My kids are older, so the support they need is less physical (no more changing diapers or getting them into and out of the car seat) and more mental and emotional. Often, the kids come into the office while I’m working and start talking about this or that. I have to remind myself to stop what I’m doing (or ask them to give me a few seconds to finish my thoughts) and focus on them, to be present while they are talking to me. I had no idea how difficult parenting would be! Of course, the rewards are so worth it! Thanks for the gentle reminder. :0)

  4. What a well-thought list that really captures what matters! I struggle with the being plugged in one, because as much as I try to stay away…it seems FB is where I am able to connect with local mommies, playdates, and what’s going on so I need it…love/hate it. Thanks for linking up with us at MeetUp Monday! Hope to see you again this week!
    –Mandy http://www.OddsandEvans.com

  5. This is great! I am a believer in quality over quantity with my kids. There are many times when they want to entertain themselves and work needs to be done, but when it’s time to have some true quality time, it’s intentional.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Marissa

  6. I love this post! All of the topics you covered are great reminders of things to focus on with our kids.

    Lately, I have been really trying to be more present. When you have multiple kids, it’s easy to rely on them to ‘entertain’ themselves (and to some extent they do), but there are times I really need to just put everything aside and play with my kids, or give them my undivided attention.

    They also yearn for that individual attention. 10-15 minutes of completely focused attention goes so much further than an hour of divided attention. At least, that’s my point of view.

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