A few months ago Jen Smith had posted in a group that we are both apart of looking for people to read and review her book before it was released. I love to read 🙂 SO I became part of her group to review The Unveiled Wife! I received a free copy and started to read it right away. It wasn’t exactly what I expected but as I continued to read Jen’s story even though I could not relate to some of the specific struggles, the main points that she addresses all women face at some point in life.
“The Unveiled Wife is a real-life love story, one touching the deep places in a marriage that only God can reach. If you are feeling disappointment or even despair in your marriage, the hear cry of this book is; You are not alone. Join Jennifer to learn how God can remove your your own veil and lovingly guide you to a place of spiritual transformation, true intimacy, and lasting joy.”
It is true that the heart cry of this book is that You are not alone. We are not alone in the struggles we face in marriage. First, we have God. HE who designed and ordained marriage. To build a strong long lasting and loving joyful marriage begins with understanding the designer of marriage and His plan for it.
Also we forget that we have others. We should be able to encourage one another in the Lord. But as Jen mentions that means being authentic and unveiled before God, our husbands, each other and to ourselves.
Jen tells her love story openly sharing the struggles that she and her husband faced in the first few years of marriage. Their struggle was many with sex and intimacy. She shares how sin and a lack of knowing God and herself were a hindrance to having true intimacy. Also how her past, perception, and expectation also played a part in their struggles. Jen mentions 3 heart areas that became the root of many of their problems. They became the veil which she hid behind.
- Expectations- We all have expectations that have been formed from what we read, watch, and hear; be it media, our home and in our communities. We have a lot of influences in our lives but do our expectations line up with the Word of God? Are they realistic?
- Imperfections- Jen states, “The second heart issue I had to face wash my imperfections. God used my marriage to unveil my sin and my imperfections, giving me the opportunity to repent and change. Before I was a wife, I never would have been aware of certain sin in my life. I had a skewed perception of who I was, hiding my struggles behind a veil to appear good–a lie I tricked myself into believing because I desired to be perfect. I had defined who I was based only on pieces of how I was performing. I feared that if people -including my husband- knew the whole me, imperfections and all they wouldn’t like me, I wouldn’t like me and worst of all, I would misrepresent God. I thought if I claimed to be a Christian, I had the responsibility to be a good person because I was representing God and his Gospel. I didn’t want to stain His story. And in my mind, for to many years I believed that struggling in my marriage was a stain. Unfortunately, as I aimed to be good and pretended to be when I wasn’t, I missed one of the most significant pieces of God’s story: His amazing grace.
- Insecurities–We all have different areas of life where we feel insecure but how we deal with those insecurities is the important thing.
I found this encouraging as it is something my hubby and I have talked about. I would say all people struggle with being who we are and being “real” with one another. We try to hide our imperfections and we put on a facade not only in front of others but to ourselves. Its hard to look at who we are and deal with our sin, imperfections, and insecurities. It is also hard work to change those things. But it is important that we do.
I found the Appendix’s included were very helpful and Jen nails in on the head on A Word bout Sex and True Intimacy. This is must read area. An area that Christian homes and church’s are failing to address in a biblical way. They have avoided dealing with sex as good, holy(within marriage) and created by God to steer clear of the World’s view. They have not addressed the issues that can take place in marriage and a lot of people just don’t know where to find answers to their questions and struggles. This really made me think about the verse Titus 2:3-4. We need more older/mature women teaching the younger.
The Unveiled wife was an excellent read! It is definitely one I would recommend.
Blogs that I have found helpful concerning marriage and sex.
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